Things that need to exist

I need someone to invent all these things, please.

  • A search engine that’s as effective as Google, but is called something like thisisforworkIpromise.com.
  • An app that can differentiate between the time you spend on Twitter marketing your business and engaging with your community, and the time you spend looking at baby animals with things on their heads or reading rage-inducing things about politics. (The premium version will kick you off when it knows you’re doing too much of the latter two.)
  • A service that tracks how long it’s been since you last had an in-person conversation with an actual human you aren’t related to, and if it’s been too long, makes you leave the house in search of one.
  • A device that measures your TBR pile and won’t let you buy any more books until it’s fallen below a pre-set height.
  • A punching bag in the shape of the Microsoft Word icon.

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