Careers Advice

“Hi. Are you the careers adviser?”

“Yes. You must be Kia. Have a seat. So, we’re here today to talk about your career options. Have you any thoughts about what you might be interested in doing?”

“I really like books. Is there a job where I can get paid to read books?”

“Actually, yes, but you’ll have to do a bit more than just read them. How’s your grammar?”

“My grammar’s excellent. I know loads about grammar, punctuation and spelling.”

“Ha. That’s what you think. But it’s a good start. Is there anything else you’d like from your career?”

“I want a job where I help people tell stories. I want a job where I have to know the difference between a transitive and an intransitive verb. I want to work with amazing clients from all over the world. I want to stare at a sentence, trying to figure out where to put the comma, for so long that my eyes ache. I want to get lost down internet rabbit-holes while trying to fact-check the quickest way of getting from North Carolina to Venezuela. I want to shout at Microsoft Word ten times a day. I want to write sentences like ‘There’s perhaps too much “cock” in this paragraph – consider changing this one to “dick”?’ and ‘Is he playing with just the one breast? It’s fine if so; I’m just checking it’s not a typo’. I want to feel a tingle of pride run down my spine when I’m thanked in the acknowledgements of a book people adore. I want to help people fall in love with books.”

“Oh. You want to be a romance editor.”

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